Arpine Grigoryan's Stories
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The square clock rang three times… and I am still not asleep. I don't feel sleepy and I don't know what to do. Is it from the heat, or maybe I am thinking too much and as a result don't feel sleepy? Anyway, I have been lying like this for a few hours and because it is impossible to turn on the light without waking up the whole house, I am thinking and looking straight up at the ceiling. There isn’t anything that I haven’t thought about. I thought about my friend's classes today. It is not good to remain how I am, lazy and timid. That is right… Lately, my sister has been saying that I am 'burning a lot of oil'. That is to say that I am doing and saying many stupid things. But if I start being quiet and not talking very much, then... In short, my situation is very bad.
I close my eyes, but they open again. What can I do? Ok, for the last time. Let me try and count sheep. One, two, three… It is better to count them two by two, so that I will get to sleep quicker, right? Heh, I started picturing the sheep and I remembered my grandmother's village house and the sheep there. I had forgotten…
The little sleep which had come to me disappeared. It can't be this way. Let me try again. I close my eyes tightly with my fingers. I can see colorful pictures. The same kind you would see in a kaleidoscope. It is really beautiful. I don't want to sleep any more… oh no, they disappeared… the pictures disappeared. I am not going to play like this. My brain is hurting. I close my eyes again, but this time there are no pictures. This time my eyes are wet with tears… Please, at least let me sleep a little…
Wrote at 17 years old age
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My dear father I really hope you'll be quicker than Jeko to get up. Why? For you remember quite well what happened last time when I had left my letter in your slippers. I'll be at school when you’ll be reading it. Sit down as you read it, ask Evelina to bring you water: I am now to list the things I'll need for my school-leaving performance and party. First of all I need an evening dress. I'm the only “dressless” person left. All the others have already bought the dresses. My girl-friends say good dresses start from 150 dollars but even a hundred-dollar dress will do. You'll surely agree that anew dress presupposes a fairy more dollars from out of your purse.
All the girls have already provided themselves with ornaments. The gold necklace we saw in the Jewelers catalogue and those thirty-dollar earrings are sure to go with the dress I like. It'd not be bad to have a ring and a bracelet in addition.
My friends are noting jokingly:
“Have you bought a bag or glasses for the school-leaving party? What about underwear & stockings? Ha, ha, ha...” Yeah, jokingly noted things but I really need them. I think 40 dollars will do. I'm going to have my nails manicured in a beauty salon before my party. This is the first time and I know they do it nicely there. I'm going to have my hair done for the first time before going to the restaurant. As for the make-up, I think we can be economical in this case. Susan will do it.
All we need is to buy mascara, a lipstick and eye-pencils. I don't know how much they cost yet. Everybody must wear black & white during the performance. I have none: For I never wear white shirts and black skirts: I need them for day only: Let them be the only and unique ones: I need some 20 wore dollars for the school-leaving party which is going to be held in a restaurant: You and mom can come too... hm... But you'll have to pay then.
Today our teacher will tell us the sum we'll need for the bells, the invitation cards, the presents for teachers, the hall and the scenario, which we'll probably have written because merely no one attends classes nowadays, everyone is busy with his private lessons. If not for this, we could write it ourselves.
If you've read my letter up to here, then things aren't that bad; you won't need the drugs in the list. Never the less I attach the list of my letter as the some I have already mentioned is only one forth of what I really need. I didn't manage to write down all; I was about to be late for the exam. By the way, they are gathering money to buy the flowers for the exams and for treating the examining teachers. Somebody has paid for me and I have promised to pay it back. I'm not quite sure about the sum, but I'll define it more precisely, the next exam is the day after tomorrow.
There is one thing I'd like to remind you: the lecturers' fees are to be paid by the end of the month.
P.S. Don't you want that your daughter's school-leaving party be unforgettable, dad? Please, don't think I said this so that you buy a film and a video cassette.
Your daughter,
A.G.
Wrote at 16 years old age
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I am in the 10th and you guess perhaps what a serious matter I mean. To enter an institute and to acquire the profession I dream of, I attend extra-curriculum classes of physics and mathematics. I have no complaints concerning the lecturers. On the contrary, I not only manage to do my tasks but also to attend classes at school. To tell the truth I'm not always ready with my homework and I feel very ashamed for this in front of my teachers. Music is the only consolation. Could I do without it? Not me. Radio accompanies me day and night during my studies. I know by heart all the radio tracks of all the radio channels already. I guess the songs from the very first notes and sing them. I also need something to chew alongside with listening to music during the studies. Even if there is nothing to eat I can always find bread at home. Thanks to bread and my sedentary lifestyle I get fatter and round-shouldered. My acquaintances confess it's very pleasant to pull my cheeks. During the last months my eyesight has got worse and I have to wear eyeglasses now. Being short of time I haven't approached the computer for some months. If one told me things would be this way a year ago, I wouldn't believe it.
The only thing that comforts me is that my future profession is connected with computer: I'm going to study programming.
Now I'm sitting at the table with my eyes swollen. I not only go to bed late but also don't feel like sleeping. Whenever I manage to have a nap, I always solve some math problems, the radio is on by my side, the family members are asleep long ago, it’s 2 a.m. and I still have some ten problems ahead.
Wrote at 16 years old age
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“My Story of Lamentation” (Confusion)
I spoke with my friends recently. One of them said that her parent’s didn’t understand her. But I said that in our home there are no problems like that. But I was wrong.
The next day my mom told me that I was getting bad marks. “From now on, you will not watch TV for more than two hours a day, and you will have no more than half an hour on the computer.”
I resisted as best as I could, but mom got angrier.
“Oh, you are stubborn.”
I cried and my mother changed her opinion a bit.
“Okay, write down your wishes.”
I had an opportunity to tell my wishes and after mentioning some of the clothes that I would like to have, I passed on to more serious items:
“Every day for three hours I can watch TV. On Wednesday evenings and on the weekends I have unlimited time of computer games, the Internet, and computer programs, scientific books. Most importantly, I would like to be given the right to justify myself in quarrels.”
My mother was critical of everything. TV-watching time was reduced to one hour and a half. I could play the computer for one hour only on Wednesdays. The Internet was allowed two months later, but scientific literature during the summer holidays. As for protecting myself, I always had it but to put it mildly, it is very doubtful. After a fight with my sister they always blamed and punished me. I stood disappointed and my sister was well armed.
“If you don’t give me what I want, I’ll tell mom that you watch too much TV…”
Don’t ask me anything or else I really will cry.”
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